Happy New Year

So I realize that it's far from the start of an actual year on the Julian calendar, and January 1 is a few months away yet...but it's September 28, my first official day being 23 years old.

(Yesterday was the first day in four years that I've woken up at home, in my own room, in my own bed, with no school to think about!) (Yesterday was also a beautiful September day spent in the company of my family and people that I love very much. Thanks also to everyone who was far away but remembered that yesterday was a day of certain importance to me!)

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins this week. I'm not Jewish (but I think my father often wishes that he was more than he will admit...), so I'm not claiming any expertise on the holiday. But what little I do know about has some significance for me.

Rosh Hashanah is for atonement - for making things new. This morning at church, I found out about a particularly beautiful ritual which is observed by some during the holiday. Observers approach a body of moving water and empty their pockets of the contents by turning them inside out, where they are swept away by the water. Some observers come prepared to the waters with bread, if they have nothing else, to cast upon the waters. The tradition is supposed to symbolize sweeping away the old and the burdens of the previous year.

My favorite story book heroine's teacher, Muriel Stacey, (from Anne of Green Gables) always reminded Anne Shirley of this concept: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." I think this is the same concept with a new year - new beginnings.

When I heard about the ritual this morning, I put my hands in my pockets. Aside from residual lint that escaped our old and trusty dryer's lint catcher, they were empty. Even though my pockets were empty, I thought about how the past year was fraught with much confusion, sadness, and pain - which, if tangible, were more than a thousand pockets could handle. (Yes, November was probably a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder...) I know that there are others who have suffered far worse emotional trauma than I - and that the road ahead is marked with more trials to come.

In spite of all of that, I am thankful. The Christian faith is an enigmatic and a paradoxical one. The last becomes first and the first becomes last. Something must become broken in order to be rendered complete. It is necessary to die to your own desires in order to truly live - to gain life in Christ, who lived a sinless life only to die, for people like me - constantly making mistakes and having to continually turn my pockets inside out, more often than new years celebrations come around.

It's a new year for me, even though I'm not Jewish - and I'm happy that my new year coincides with a holiday where many observe the beauty of starting over. Happy New Year!